Scars of the Soul Read online

  “Well, darlin’, I’m kind of glad I was able to pop that cherry for you.” Grabbing her hand, he intertwined his fingers with her as they walked into the restaurant. Normally, he didn’t like holding hands, but with her, he wanted to experience it all. The highs and lows, the good times and bad. Now to get her onboard with what he wanted. Seeing her blush, he wondered how low that blush went and decided that he would find out. Soon.

  Because it was just before lunch, they were able to get a booth in the back, away from others at least for a little while. As she sat down, he motioned for her to scoot over and proceeded to sit next to her, making sure that his thigh was next to hers.

  Sitting there waiting for the waitress, Amy fought to breathe. This gorgeous man was sitting right next to her and ohmygosh, was he touching her too? She could feel his arm around her shoulders, playing with the curls that had escaped. “I gotta say, I love your curls. And I’m hard-pressed to put a name to the color, but it’s now my favorite.”

  “It’s all mine. Strawberry blonde. Occasionally I put highlights in it, but usually that’s during the summer.”

  “So, Amy, you know I’m interested in you. How would you feel about dating me?”

  “Well, um, I mean, I find you interesting and of course, attractive. I think I’d like it if you’re sure. You gotta know, though, that I’m still working through some hang-ups.”

  “I can work with that as long as we are honest with one another. So, what made you decide to get healthier? If that’s too personal, you don’t have to answer it right now.”

  “I woke up one night gasping for breath and that triggered a bad panic attack. I spent several days in the hospital having tests run to find out that my thyroid was kaput and I had sleep apnea. Once I was released, I saw my personal physician and had a complete physical and we came up with a plan to increase my metabolism and help me lose the weight I had gained from the hormonal imbalance. Unfortunately, my ex wasn’t willing to wait around to see if I was successful and he bailed while I was in the hospital.”

  “Do you miss him?”

  “Mmm, no. At first, I was devastated, but then I realized, especially after talking with my besties, that he had been negative pretty much our whole relationship. There wasn’t much I ‘did right’ and of course, gaining weight was an embarrassment to him. He stopped taking me out, stopped touching me, and my besties saw him with other women who were thinner. So, he was more damaging to my ego than anything.”

  Closing his eyes against the anger that was welling up in him at the treatment she had received, he looked at her and, using his left hand turned her to look at him. “Darlin’, I want to say I’m sorry about how he treated you and I am, but if he had stuck around, I might not have ever had this chance with you. Do you think a ‘thank you’ card is inappropriate?”

  Giggling, she looked at him and said “Nope. He doesn’t deserve even that to be honest.”

  Leaning down, he whispered, “Gonna kiss you now, darlin’,” and he proceeded to lay his claim on her.

  Holy shit! The man could kiss! And how he was cradling her face as if she were something to be cherished. With wild thoughts running through her mind, she gave herself over to him when he swiped her top lip with his tongue. She knew she had never been kissed so thoroughly. And, she loved every second of it.

  Hearing a noise, he drew back from her slightly and looked over his shoulder.

  “Uh, I was wanting to know what you would like to drink today?” the waitress stammered out.

  “Darlin’ what do you want to drink?”

  “I’d like water with lemon please,” Amy told the waitress.

  “I’ll take the same. Can you give us a few minutes to look over the menu?” Rhett asked the waitress.

  “Sure. Absolutely. I’ll be back in a few minutes with your waters.”

  As they separated, he handed her a menu then opened his own. “What are you going to have, darlin’?”

  “Well, I’ve never been here before, but they have a salad here that has everything I like plus it comes with steak. The doctor said I needed to be sure to eat enough protein.”

  He had some protein she could eat. Deciding he couldn’t go down that track because at this rate, his balls were going to be indigo, he glanced at the page where the salads were listed and saw that she was correct, it was a filling salad and would help build muscle mass. He couldn’t wait to show her some other exercises that would help with that as well. Dammit, down that track again. “That looks good. I think I’ll get the same.”

  “So, Rhett, can I ask you something?”

  “You can ask me anything, darlin’, and if it’s in my power to do so, I will answer you.”

  “Okay, well, I know your name and of course, your brothers’ and sisters’ names. Is your mom a ‘Gone with the Wind’ fan or something? I mean, Rhett, Scarlett, Beau, Melanie, Trent?”

  Bursting out laughing, he looked at her and said, “Yep. Mom’s been a diehard GWTW fan and she had told my dad if they ever had kids, they’d be using those names. My dad is crazy about her so he had no problem going along with what she wanted.”

  Giggling along with him, she replied, “Okay, next question. I know you were in the military and all, why did you get out?”

  Taking a deep breath because this woman was asking the hard questions, he replied, “Our last tour, my unit was flown inland daily to work on the planes that had issues. Some of the guys did the repairs, and myself and another buddy did the avionics work. We were almost done fixing one of the planes when a skirmish broke out. Being that we were inside the plane itself, we weren’t exactly prepared for a gun fight. The plane was hit and while we all got out, several of us were injured and Archie was killed. It was my last tour before I had to make the call to re-up, and unfortunately, the injury was such that I was medically discharged. And, while it’s hard to admit, I now have PTSD. Most days I’m good, but I still occasionally have nightmares where I hear the screams of my team, and can hear the shots going off.”

  Sitting there for a moment processing what he had just told her, she looked at him and softly said, “Thank you for your service. I’m sorry our world is such that men and women have to be in those situations and come home injured either physically or mentally, but without our military, we wouldn’t be the country we are right now. So again, thank you.”

  Before he could respond, the waitress returned with their waters and to take their orders. Making short work of that, he also added on a dessert and when she looked at him with her brows raised, he gave her a quick kiss and said, “Darlin’, we’re going to share it and you work out hard every day. A treat every now and then will not hurt.”

  Once the waitress was gone, he turned back to her and said, “Amy, since I’ve come home, I’ve not really dated and I’ve certainly not been intimate with anyone. I am afraid that I might hurt someone so have been working with a psychiatrist to get to the other side of it all. Tell me now if that’s going to be a problem for you.”

  Realizing just how much this man had opened up to her, she decided to do the same and said, “Rhett, I’m not one to jump into someone’s bed. So as slow or fast as this, whatever this is, goes, I’m good with it, okay? Like I said earlier, I’ve still got hang-ups and am not even sure if I can handle someone like you seeing me with no clothes!”

  “What do you mean ‘someone like me’ Amy?”

  “You’re the epitome of tall, dark and handsome. You’re in shape, you’ve got muscles that have muscles and you have tattoos!”

  “Darlin’, all of that means nothing without a good heart.”

  “And you have that too! I know what you’re planning to do for the vets. And I know how Scarlett has started a class for the local women’s shelter. All of you have that heart to help others. I’m afraid I won’t measure up or you’ll decide you want someone else.”

  “Amy Rhynes, you more than measure up to me and if it wasn’t so soon, I would be glad to show you just how much!”

  B
efore she could say anything, the waitress returned with their salads and after leaving a carafe of water, she left after saying she would bring their dessert out shortly.

  Taking a sip of her water, Amy looked at him again and said, “Well, the feeling is mutual and honestly, I’m not sure what to do with how I’m feeling inside.”

  “Slow and steady, darlin’, slow and steady. Now, let’s eat these salads and see if the description meets the reality, okay?”

  Settling in and eating, they continued to talk about any and everything. She shyly told him that she planned to run the 5k later in the year, and was shocked when he told her that he would be happy to help her train and would run it with her. When he asked her how many miles she was up to running on the treadmill and she told him she had just hit six miles the day before, he told her it was time to take the training to the pavement.

  “I know tomorrow is your cardio and weights day, how about I swing by and pick you up and we go run first, and then I’ll take you back to the gym so we can finish working out.”

  He wasn’t trying to push her, but he wanted to be with her and he hoped that by spending as much time as possible together, he would be able to break down the walls he could see were still there.

  “Um, what about my car? How will I get back home?”

  “Well, pack a change of clothes in your duffel bag. You can shower once we are done working out and I’ll be glad to run you back home, unless you’d like to spend the day together?” Silently holding his breath, then wondering just when he tossed his man card to the curb, he prayed she would say “yes”. He wasn’t one to believe in love at first sight. Lust at first sight, absolutely, and he had been in lust with her for months, watching the sway of her hips or how she would tilt her head to the side when she was listening closely, or seeing how she would help the newcomers when she saw they were struggling.

  “Well, I have one job assignment I have to finish up, but if I can get it done tonight, then I will be free tomorrow, and if you’re sure, I’d love to spend the day with you Rhett.”

  “What exactly do you do for a living, darlin’? I know you work out daily, sometimes for hours at a time, and there aren’t many employers who allow that these days, are there?”

  Laughing, she looked up at him and told him, “I’m a virtual personal assistant to several ‘bosses’ who have me keep their correspondence up-to-date, make sure their meetings are set up properly, that kind of thing. It suits me because I’ve always been a bit shy and sometimes have panic attacks. There are no set hours, although sometimes I’m busier than others depending on what that particular boss may need, and the money is good. I was able to pay my way through college and graduate with no student loan debt, something many of my peers cannot say.”

  He leaned back and looked at her. She impressed the hell out of him. She took what many would have considered a crutch and made it into a viable career that sounded like it was flexible and most importantly, took care of her.

  “Amy, gotta say, you impress the hell out of me. You took what many would think was debilitating and made it work for you.”

  “Well, I’ve always tried to see the positive in things. So when it became apparent that ‘the real world’ was sometimes hard for me to handle, I searched for ways to be a part of things without the added stress. The neat thing is, because I enjoy reading, I also proof and edit and beta read for some indie authors. The beta part isn’t for pay, per se, just the satisfaction of knowing I’m helping someone else achieve their dream. Plus, I get to read a lot of great books before they ever hit the market. So, it’s a win-win for me.”

  “Well, like I said, I’m impressed. Now, about tomorrow. You interested? Because you’re going to have to start running on pavement to prepare for that 5k and there’s no time like the present.”

  “Yeah, sure. Why not? Of course, you realize I probably won’t run as fast as you, but if that’s not a problem, I’m definitely game.”

  Giving her a grin and a wink, he motioned for the waitress and asked for their dessert. When it arrived, she almost swooned – it was an apple crisp with vanilla ice cream on the top! One of her favorites, although if the truth were known, with her sweet tooth, most desserts were.

  Leaving the restaurant, he got her set up with the helmet and they headed back to the gym. Once they got there, he walked her to her car and, after exchanging phone numbers (although, he had had hers in his phone for months courtesy of the membership log), he drew her in for a kiss. And, what a kiss! Full of promise, hot, steamy. When he finally stepped back, he noticed with some satisfaction that her face was flushed and she was a little out of breath. “I’ll text you in the morning when I’m on my way, darlin’, okay?”

  “That’s fine, Rhett. I guess I best head home to wrap up my work then so I’m ready to run!” And with that, she got in her car, gave him a wave and headed home.

  Chapter 5

  Amy sat back and stretched. The last project had been a bit more time-consuming than normal, but she was satisfied that it was what her boss wanted. Now to fix some dinner and relax with a good book on her ereader. As she ate, she thought about the turn of events concerning Rhett. She couldn’t believe that he was interested in her. To find out that he was and that he had been for months now did a lot to restore her confidence. She knew she would be considered “pretty” by most standards, but her ex had left her thinking she was beyond “less than” so to know that her self-esteem was returning made her feel good, all in all.

  She had seen how Rhett interacted with others at the gym, always willing to help the newcomers, celebrating successes, and just generally being a nice guy. And wow, could he kiss! Holy smokes – she was afraid her panties were going to go up in a ball of fire and that was just from a kiss! But that little imp, fear, jumped on her shoulder and tried to tell her that he wouldn’t want her because she still had a few extra curves and she wasn’t all that experienced. Deciding that she was going to ignore that little voice, she cleaned up the kitchen and went to get her stuff ready for the next day. Since she didn’t know what they would be doing after they worked out, she tossed a couple of different outfits in her duffel bag, along with her makeup bag and stuff to do her hair. A girl needed to be prepared and where he was concerned, she wanted to be ready. Setting her alarm, she got ready for bed so she could curl up and read a little bit longer. By the time the timer she set so she wouldn’t read all night went off, she was already fast asleep, dreaming of Rhett and what else he could do with that mouth.

  Chapter 6

  “Alright, darlin’, now that we’ve stretched, let’s take this trail and run. Easy pace, no reason to kill ourselves, just want you to get used to running outside on pavement and such, okay?”

  “Yep. Let’s do this!” she answered.

  Taking the lead, Rhett had to adjust his stride so she could keep up with him. She was so petite, and those workout capris she was wearing were going to be the death of him. He was glad he had on basketball shorts to hide his reaction to her. It wasn’t even so much her shape, all curves, with dips in all the right places, or that gorgeous head of curls that he had already pictured fanned out on his pillow and over his chest as she rode him. No, it was her overall essence. She always had a slightly citrus-y fresh smell, and he ached to see how she tasted. He was going to have to ramp up his game. He knew she was shy, knew she had been burned badly by her last ex, and knew that she likely would respond more to actions than words. Slow and steady would win this race.

  “You’re doing great, darlin’, we’ve run three miles so far. How are you feeling?”

  Blowing a stray tendril from the front of her face, she concentrated on keeping her feet moving as she said, “I’m okay. This is a lot harder than the treadmill, that’s for sure!”

  He laughed and said, “Yeah, that’s why I wanted to get you out on the road. What say we turn back now and head to the gym?”

  “Yes, please. I definitely want some air conditioning! And a gallon or three of water. M
aybe a shower?”

  Laughing at her remarks, he winked and said, “Well, then, c’mon slow poke!”

  Once back at the car, they went through a series of cool down stretches because the last thing he wanted her to do was get injured. As he helped her back up, he kept his hand on the small of her back and bit back the moan that wanted to erupt as he caught a whiff of her. Flowery, citrus-y, sweaty. And, he couldn’t wait until he was the reason she was the last. Soon.

  Chapter 7

  Three Weeks Later

  “Getoutgetoutgetout!”

  “Archie?Archie?ARCHIE?” “Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!”

  Waking up, drenched in sweat, Rhett could make out the remnants of his nightmare. He had held his best friend and teammate in his arms as he drew his last breath, unaware until the firefight was all over that he had taken several bullets himself. He glanced at the clock and realized it was a little past four in the morning. Another long day. Thoughts of Amy played in his mind, they had grown closer since their first date, and he was looking forward to seeing her later for their run. His sisters and brothers had been gently teasing him about bringing her around for their weekly family dinner, but he wasn’t sure she was ready for the chaos that came with going to his parents’ house, at least not with everyone else! Deciding to go ahead and seize the day since he knew no further sleep would come, he got up, stripped the bed and decided to go ahead and get the housework done. Sometimes, living alone was rough, but he felt it was necessary while he worked through everything. He still felt such guilt over losing Archie, even though his head knew that he hadn’t shot the guns that ended up killing his best friend. A few hours later, with the domestic stuff taken care of and his bed remade, he grabbed a shower and some more coffee and headed off to the gym. Today was Amy’s swim day and he wanted to push her to add a few more laps. Her endurance was getting better, but he knew she had to get it up there if she wanted to run the 5k.